Innehållsförteckning för Dec-15 från Cosmopolitan

A FEW WEEKS AGO, before a first date, I stopped home to pop on some heels, reapply my fave nude lip gloss…and spritz on a ton of leave-in conditioner to reignite my spirals. A lot of curly girls would bust out the straightener for a first date. Me? I like a guy to see my curls from day one. It wasn’t always this way. Growing up biracial (my mom is Spanish; my dad, African-American), I watched with envy as my straight-haired Spanish cousins brushed their hair (a curly hair no-no) and experimented with endless trends. My big, crazy hair wasn’t just monotonous, it also didn’t look like anyone else’s in my family… or pop culture. Other than the zany BFF or “before” portion of a Cinderella makeover, the movies and…

WE KNOW YOU HAVE CONFESSIONS TO SHARE.…E-MAIL THE DIRTY DETAILS TO CONFESSIONS@COSMOPOLITAN.COM, OR TWEET YOUR TALES TO @COSMOPOLITAN! 1 “While I was out with a guy, I walked into a glass wall so hard that it shook. My date was on the floor laughing.” —AMY H., 26, STYLIST, MIAMI BEACH, FL CELEB CONFESSION “I was in my trailer on the set of Empire, and all the trailers are pretty identical. I had just wrapped for the day, so I took off my costume and stripped down to my undies. Right when my dress was literally around my ankles, Jussie Smollett, my castmate, in the middle of a conversation with someone else, swings the door open thinking it was his trailer. I don’t normally scream, but I squealed like a pig!…

MAKE OVER YOUR MIND-SET “People get tense about being busy around the holidays, but most of the things you’re juggling are probably fun,” says time management expert Laura Vanderkam, author of I Know How She Does It. Instead of stressing about being invited to two parties in one night, think, “Isn’t it awesome I have so many friends?” suggests Vanderkam. Reframing your anxiety into excitement works. In a Duke University study, when participants shouted “I am excited!” three times after thinking about two competing goals, they felt like they had more time than they did beforehand. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR TO-DO LISTS... Having a million lists— random Post-its on your desk, notes on your phone— is not helping. Keep two. One should have daily to-dos: five or fewer things that…

“You might say that I have good selfesteem but horrible selfie-esteem.” I CAN COUNT on one hand the number of selfies I’ve taken. It’s not just because I think it’s kind of ridiculous. It’s also that I really don’t like how I look in pictures. If someone points a camera in my direction, I hide my face, like TMZ is papping me outside Katsuya. I don’t think I’m unattractive. But when I see myself in pictures? Horrified. My eyes go beady, my mouth narrows, my nose expands. Those cheekbones I thought I had? Gone. I start to wonder if the photos are actually more accurate. You might say that I have good selfesteem but horrible selfie-esteem. Around the time of my wedding, I was feeling particularly camera-shy. Would I love…

Bacne Such a bummer. Use a cleanser containing benzoyl peroxide, like Neutrogena Clear Pore Daily Scrub ($6.99, neutrogena.com), and clean with a back brush, says Tina West, MD, a dermatologist in Maryland. For persistent pimples, see your derm for an antibiotic, in-office “back facial,” or light chemical peel. Bikini Bumps Sweat plus friction can spell disaster for your bikini line (and underarms). Shave at the start of your shower, suggests Dr. Krant. Hairs won’t have time to swell, so they’re less likely to shrink up under skin after. Treat red spots with Tend Skin ($16, tend skin.com), which has acetylsalicylic acid to relieve irritation. Scaly Skin “Many athletes have very dry skin due to frequent bathing…and for swimmers, exposure to chlorine,” says Dr. West. Use a moisturizer with lactic acid,…

SEEING SPOTS? DON’T FREAK OUT. YOU GOT THIS. AT MY LATEST GYNO appointment, I cheerfully asked the nurse practitioner to give me the full workup of STI exams. I’d dated a few new guys, and although I’m careful, I like the peace of mind of an annual all-clear. She rattled off the diseases she’d be testing for. One wasn’t there. “And herpes, right?” I asked. The answer: a definitive no. Since I’d never had an outbreak of sores, there was nothing to be gained from the blood test, she said. She’d tested women like me at their insistence, and when the test was positive, “they were traumatized.” Patients had reacted better to an HIV diagnosis. “At worst,” she told me, “it’s cold sores on the genitals.” I was floored. No…

“I MIGHT BE BURSTING SOME BUBBLES RIGHT now,” Carrie Underwood says with a shrug. We’re holed up in a cozy room in a downtown Nashville photo studio. Minutes earlier, a flock of stylists were fussing over her golden tresses and smudging her eyeliner just-so in pursuit of on-camera perfection. But that’s not how things go down on her tours—those splashy affairs featuring all the costumes, multi-tiered stages, and Jumbotrons. “On the road,” she says, tucking her mile-long legs beneath her on a leather armchair, “I do my own hair and makeup.” Bubble, meet pin. It’s been a decade since American Idol made the Oklahoma native everybody’s favorite country-pop diva next door. Since her Idol victory, she’s won seven Grammys, sold more digital singles than any other country artist, and moved…

1 Put an Elf on the Shelf Whether you’re solo or with a partner, get your inner voyeur on: Imagine that someone hot (any Hemsworth works!) is watching you while you do dirty, dirty things. 2 Bail on Your Bed If you have a tree in your living room, dim the overheads— leaving only the glow of the string bulbs— and take the action to the sofa. (As long as Aunt Janine isn’t snoring on it.) 3 Wrap Yourself While running a quick errand together, reveal a secret: You’re wearing nothing but some festive ribbon underneath your puffer coat. Yes, even winter layers can be erotic when he thinks of them as gift wrapping. 4 Play Secret Sex Santa Buy each other one saucy gift that fulfills your respective fantasies,…

WANT MORE FROM MATTHEW? GET HIS FREE GUIDE FOR COSMO READERS, 9 MAGIC TEXTS NO GUY CAN RESIST, AT 9TEXTS.COM/COSMO. 1 Be Specific… No matter how much experience a guy has had, every woman is different. He may do things that are too hard, too soft, too fast, or too slow for you. We only know what you like if you tell us! If he’s using his hands, put yours over his and show him exactly what you like. Then say “Can you do it like that? It feels so good.” 2 ..And a Little Strategic Instant confidence killers for guys: “That’s weird,” “What are you doing?” and “That’s not working for me.” Instead of criticizing what he’s doing wrong, encourage what he’s doing right. Want him to talk dirty…

SHONDA RHIMES WAS CHOPPING ONIONS with her sister on Thanksgiving two years ago when it all changed. The television producer says, “I was telling her about all these fancy invites I’d turned down, hoping to impress her, when she called me out. She said, ‘You don’t say yes to anything.’ First, I pushed back. ‘I can’t! I have kids! I have TV shows!’ Then I saw she was right. I was my heaviest ever, unhappy, and ready for a change.” Rhimes says she’d put so much of herself into work and her family, she’d lost track of who she was and what she wanted. And she needed to figure it out. DO WHAT SCARES YOU “Staying in my safe little writers’ room spinning my stories, which I had done since…

1. IT’S AN INDUSTRY “Think of nonprofits as a career path. Your product is helping someone else’s life versus creating a widget. You can study business, finance, marketing, engineering, or writing as an undergrad, then get a master’s in nonprofit management or public policy.” 2. VOLUNTEERING GETS YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR “To get into humanitarian work, you need to live in overseas environments, whether that’s a mud hut in Uganda or an emerging economy, like Argentina. Faith groups have programs, or explore the Peace Corps or Teach for America.” 3. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUILD YOUR OWN THING “If you have a game-changing idea for a charity, try to do it inside the infrastructure of an established nonprofit. By the end of three years, you should have had coffee…

1.Your male friend insists he has a great dude for you. Your response? □ a. “What’s his Twitter handle? I’ll follow him now.” □ b. “Eh, I don’t really do fix-ups.” □ c. “Show me a blood test, a recent pay stub, and the last five songs he played on iTunes, and I’ll consider it.” 2. Your onlinedating profile: □ a. Requires two hours of scrolling just to get through. □ b. Doesn’t exist. □ c. Features a profile pic of Bea Arthur. 3. You exchange numbers with a cute guy. What’s your next move? □ a. Text him on the way home. You’re thinking gorgeous spring wedding, two Montessorieducated kids, and a wellbehaved goldendoodle. □ b. Nothing. We’ll run into each other again if it’s right. □ c. Delete…

1 KEEP winter at bay with Westward Leaning’s rose gold reflective lenses ($275, westwardleaning.com). 2. UPGRADE your seasonal snacking. Hershey’s Deluxe Kisses are bigger, luxer, and hazelnuttier (from $1). 3 SIP Kocktails With Khloé. Her new talk show premieres December 9 on the FYI network. 4. SMOOTH while you scrub with Nivea’s new Cocoa Butter In-Shower Body Lotion ($8, drugstores). 5. GET FRESH anywhere with Guess Girl, now in roller-ball size ($11, guess.com). 6 STRUT across your living room (lingerie encouraged) during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (Dec. 8, CBS). 7. GET OUT OF THE COLD. This season, there’s a movie for any yuletide mood. For funny: The Night Before (Nov. 25). For warm and fuzzies: Love the Coopers (Nov. 13). For fright factor: Krampus (Dec. 4). 8. CHASE superstardom with…

JOSH HUTCHERSON ON PEE TA VS. GALE “Honestly, I lean a little more Gale. I can get brooding and aggressive at times. And Gale stands up for what he believes in—I have that in me. But I’m also sensitive, so I have that in common with Peeta.” ON J. L AW RUMORS “Since we met, we’ve been like brother and sister. So it’s annoying that people are always speculating, like saying my girlfriend is a scheme to distract from Jen and me. It’s like, are you kidding me?” ON S TRONG WOMEN “It’s so important to me. I mean, the bedroom is fun, but can you have a great conversation? I like someone who challenges your opinions. If they call you on your shit, that makes you a better person.”…

COMPANY PARTY Top a jumpsuit with a sleek blazer and bling for cocktails with your cubicle mates. JUMPSUIT, Alice + Olivia by Stacey Bendet, $698, aliceandolivia.com. BLAZER, DKNY, $495, available at select DKNY locations. SHOES, boohoo.com, $52, boohoo.com. EARRINGS, Banana Republic, $48, bananarepublic.com SECRET-SANTA PARTY For gift exchange with your girls, rock a holiday-spirited sweater with leather skinnies. SWEATER, Love by Design, $46, jcpenney.com. PANTS, Joe’s, $695, joesjeans.com. SHOES, Nine West, $79, ninewest.com. CLUTCH, Kate Spade New York, $398, katespade.com NEW YEAR’S EVE Outshine Times Square in sexy cutouts, festive heels, and a countdown-worthy clutch. DRESS, Rachel Rachel Roy, $169, macys.com. SHOES, J.Crew, $288, jcrew.com. CLUTCH, Aldo, $60, aldoshoes.com…

STICKY BUSINESS Cookies and cake aren’t just bad news for skinny jeans. In a process called glycation, sugar binds to skin’s proteins and lipids, altering them to form advanced glycation end-products (or AGEs)—mutant molecules that warp your collagen and elastin, responsible for giving skin its dewiness and bounce, says Nicholas Perricone, MD, who studies the impact of food on aging. They also hitch onto blood vessels, preventing nutrients from nourishing skin, says Manhattan derm Macrene Alexiades-Armenakas, MD. In the end, “skin starts to wrinkle, look dull, and lose tone,” says Dr. Perricone. AGEs, indeed. Premature aging isn’t the only concern. “High carb intake is associated with a spike in oil, increasing your chances of adult acne,” says Dr. Alexiades-Armenakas. SUGAR CRASH A few holiday cookies won’t kill your complexion. But…

TOTES NOT WORTH IT Saving the planet has a slight downside: Customers who bring reusable shopping bags to the market are more likely to buy indulgent, unhealthy foods than shoppers who don’t, a new study from researchers at Duke University and Harvard Business School reports. Knowing you did something virtuous may lead you to believe you’ve earned a reward, the study authors surmise. Great job not polluting, but give yourself a pat on the back, not an entire bag of Milano cookies. —DANIELLE KAM…

“I THOUGHT I WANTED KIDS, BUT NOT RIGH THIS SECOND. HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE PREGNANCY TEST TURNED POSITIVE.” “MY MOM THINKS you’re pregnant.” “What?” I nearly choked on my ginjinha, the Portuguese drink at the Lisbon restaurant where I was with my two closest friends, who’d traveled to Europe to reunite with me for a weekend. Thirty-one and a freelance writer, I was halfway through what I termed my grown-up gap year. I’d planned to spend 12 months researching a novel idea, learning to surf, and having as many no-stringsattached flings as possible before I came back to New York City to settle down and figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Working remotely on my own schedule as a writer paid my…

So you just unwrapped a pair of antique Mickey and Minnie Mouse salt and pepper shakers...and you’re having trouble processing. Here’s what happened: He was either over- or underthinking it. An under-thought present is easy to explain. Instead of taking the time to shop for a present, we leave ourselves just long enough to buy a gift, any gift. That’s why we end up rushing around the mall and making snap decisions with our unrefined senses of taste. Overthinking is a different problem entirely. We hear your hints, but we opt to surprise you with something we think you’ll love even more. That’s why we buy perfumes you hate or tickets to events you’d never attend. We know we’d be better off getting the gift you said you wanted, but…

“I created a path for myself I didn’t know existed.” Nancy Chang 35 BOARD CHAIR SKATE LIKE A GIRL NANCY CHANG didn’t grow up in the kind of family where it was okay for girls to skateboard, much less help build a nonprofit around the sport. “My parents wanted their kids to be doctors or lawyers, not to go into nonprofits,” she says. Yet her Taiwanese family also lived a “Buddhist lifestyle—it was always about wanting to help other people.” Those kinds of mixed messages were a hallmark of her childhood in rural Washington. “I was a tomboy, so I was told I had to be more girly but at the same time not dress provocatively. I never felt that I fit in.” That’s partly why she was drawn to…

CLUCK YOU “I guess if you are out shopping and eating lunch at the same time, you just leave your chicken bone on a towel when you are finished. Gross! ” —MELISSA F., 32 SLIPPER-Y SLOPE “My biggest pet peeve is people who wear house shoes in public. Especially to department stores. Thanks for letting me bitch it out, Cosmo.” —MEGAN B., 26 BARE BUM-MER “Not sure why this was necessary. If you’re going to lean against a window, pull your pants up! ” —KINSLEY B., 21 A LATTE NERVE “This is a Starbucks, not your living room! Put your shoes on and get your feet off the table! ” —KRISTEN H., 26 ANNOYED BEYOND BELIEF? E-MAI L INBOX@COSMOPOLITAN.COM (SUBJECT: B ITCH IT OUT) TO SHARE YOUR PET PEEVE (AND…

@SarahNNicole7 Loving @ErinAndrews’ article on game-day dressing (also loving the @Ravens shirt...Totally unbiased here). #TisTheSeason COSMO CONVO I love Cosmo and respect its right to be fascinated by the admittedly beautiful Kardashians. However, your reference to them as the “first family” is disrespectful to the Obamas. You owe them and the public an apology. —JOSETTE CHAMBERS, 41 The Kardashian/Jenner cover looks great! Too many people have negative things to say about them. They are all beautiful. —@JLYNNR831, VIA TWITTER I have respect for your stance on women’s health issues and the increase in depth in your articles, but shame on you for picking a headlinegrabbing title [“America’s First Family”] when you could have sold something far more inspirational. —ELIZABETH HALL, 32 The K-Js are #1 in social media. They are…

LESSON 1 PLAY IT STRAIGHT Kourtney Kardashian SPLIT FROM Scott Disick When Kourtney appeared on the red carpet postsplit, jaws dropped. With glossy, pin-straight strands and a bodyhugging frock, the usually conservative K sis commanded epic-level attention (à la Reese Witherspoon post–Ryan Phillippe in 2007…one of the most memorable breakovers ever!). Moral of the story: Fire up your straightening iron. Something about extra-sleek hair (even when you’re naturally straight) makes an unforgettable entrance. LESSON 2 STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE Ariana Grande SPLIT FROM Big Sean Ariana’s signature— that lush, high pony—is so well-known, it could have its own Twitter account. But when she and Big Sean went separate ways, Ariana spiced things up with a half-up topknot. A small switch, yes. But when predictability is your jam, even…

SHARING IS CARING If it’s crowded, you may need to share a lane. Wait for the current swimmer to approach the wall, stick one hand under the water to get her attention, then ask to split. Check with the guard about designated slow versus fast lanes. CIRCLE UP Before joining a lane with someone, notice how she’s using it. Is she staying in one half or keeping to her right both ways (called circling)? Follow suit. If your lane buddy is into butterfly and you’re more of a breaststroker, just let her pass. REST RIGHT If you need to take a breather, you don’t have to get out of the pool, but you do have to get out of the way. Head to the end of your lane and scoot…

COUNTRY, GLAM, EDGY, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE, GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF A BLISSFUL AND BADASS HOLIDAY SEASON.…

Q/ I’m constantly either on my period or spotting. How can I track my ovulation time so I don’t get pregnant? A/ First things first: Spotting can be caused by a wide range of factors, from cervical polyps to an infection to stress, says ob-gyn Jennifer Wider, MD. Make an appointment with your gyno ASAP to see what’s causing yours. In some cases, going on hormonal birth control can even things out and also help with that whole not-gettingpregnant thing. (Until then, sign a lease in Condom City.) To track your ovulation—which generally occurs on the 14th day of a 28-day cycle and marks when you’re most fertile—use an app like My Days (free, App Store and Google Play). For a more accurate read, Dr. Wider suggests an ovulation predictor…

Cranberry cocktail Combine 1½ ounces Avión Añejo tequila, 1½ ounces cranberry juice, 1½ ounces orange liqueur, and agave nectar to taste in a shaker filled with ice. Shake and strain over ice. Garnish with sugared cranberries. Love Cocktail This super-boozy drink’s name is no joke. Just one sip, and you’ll be crushing hard. Another round, please! 1 ounce Buffalo Trace bourbon 1 ounce Busnel Calvados brandy ¾ ounce fresh lemon juice ½ ounce Giffard Crème de Pêche de Vigne peach liqueur ½ ounce simple syrup A dash Peychaud bitters Add ingredients to an ice-filled shaker; shake and strain over ice or into a coupe. Garnish with peaches or a lemon wheel. Courtesy of Eryn Reece, head bartender at Death + Company in New York City Booby Gummy Bears Is it…

Glory Johnson and Brittney Griner made a glamorous, swashbuckling pair. The towering professional basketball rivals fell in love when Griner, an iconic lesbian, pursued Johnson, who had always dated men. Johnson, at 6 feet 3, and Griner, at 6 feet 8, dazzled on the courts with their ability to dunk, as only a few women in the world can do. Off the courts, they posted playful shots on Instagram, announced an engagement, and stole the show on Say Yes to the Dress. Then things went haywire. Just weeks before the marriage, an argument turned physical, and the women were arrested for domestic violence. Nevertheless, they wed in May of this year, and soon after, Johnson announced that she was pregnant, a result of artificial insemination. The very next day, Griner…