In Touch Weekly April 8, 2024

TALE OF THE TAPE OF THE WEEK MEGHAN VS. JOANNA They’re both hard-working brunettes who keep a stylish chicken coop, embrace the modern farmhouse style and are married to goofy gingers with wild pasts. And now Meghan Markle has launched a lifestyle brand — with plans to sell housewares, cookbooks and gourmet foods — which sounds a lot like the empire Joanna Gaines already rules over! Here’s how they match up.… DAUGHTER OF THE WEEK ZOË KRAVITZ “I’ve seen you change in the most beautiful ways. I’ve seen the way you stay the same in the most important ways. I’ve seen your incredible dedication to your art. But mostly, I’ve seen through your shirts.” — roasting her dad, Lenny, at his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony REGRET OF THE WEEK…

SLIVING WELL! Beverly Hills, March 18 “Happiest when I’m on the dance floor or in a ball pit,” says PARIS HILTON, celebrating her 43rd birthday with MEGAN THEE STALLION, HEIDI KLUM and 14-month-old son PHOENIX. HOT MAMA March 13 “That’s life,” says KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN, pumping milk in lingerie. WHEN IN TEXAS.... Austin, March 8 In town for the SXSW Conference, PRINCE HARRY and MEGHAN MARKLE stop by la Barbecue, owned by ALLISON “ALI” CLEM. AB BRAG March 15 “Jesus Christmas,” Zoë Kravitz’s fiancé, Channing Tatum, says of LENNY KRAVITZ’s Instagram post. OPENING NIGHT NYC, March 18 During his first performance of An Enemy of the People on Broadway, JEREMY STRONG bares his chest. NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEM! SHORE THING Miami, March 17 NOVAK DJOKOVIC hits the beach for a run.…

Christina Aguilera put the X in Xtina when she showed up at the Clarins Multi-Active Skincare launch event in LA on March 15 wearing thigh-high boots, a sparkly fringe miniskirt and a corset under a see-through top. But it wasn’t her outfit that turned heads — it was her weight. “She looks sooooo skinny. Skinnier than ever,” says an eyewitness. “Diet drugs perhaps?” The “Beautiful” singer, 43, who’s famously yoyo-ed for years, isn’t saying how she dropped the weight this time around. But not everyone thinks she’s gone too far. “Love Xtina,” says one fan. “Everyone who’s hating on her for getting skinny again can bore off. I’ve been waiting since the ’90s for her to come back. She looks awesome!”…

Secrets OF THE New James Bond Just call him Bond...James Bond. Aaron Taylor-Johnson has reportedly been formally offered the chance to be the next 007, replacing Daniel Craig. “Aaron has a mystique about him, which probably worked in his favor in landing the role,” an insider tells In Touch. “It doesn’t hurt that he’s British and unbelievably gorgeous as well.” Before the reports surfaced, Aaron, 33, seemed to pooh-pooh the rumors that he’d play Bond, saying, “I don’t feel like I need to have a future drawn out for me. I feel like, whatever’s drawn out for me, I can f---ing do better.” He added that he doesn’t “necessarily want his brand” to be “doing one action movie after another.” Aaron, says the source, “is an intensely private guy, so…

For five long years, she stayed silent. In March 2019, Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley, was named as Kate Middleton’s “rural rival” amid reports the two had a falling-out. Soon after came whispers that it was an “open secret” that the posh Kate look-alike was Prince William’s “mistress,” with insiders hinting that the former model and her much-older husband of 15 years, David Rocksavage, had long been leading separate lives. A Times of London journalist even tweeted that “everyone knows about the affair.” Now, mainstream media outlets are covering the scandal. Even talk show host Stephen Colbert joked about the alleged infidelity being part of conspiracy theories surrounding Kate’s recent disappearance from the public eye. “The kingdom,” Stephen gushed on March 12, “has been all aflutter.” Amid the growing…

Their love and affection were palpable. As Bruce Willis celebrated his 69th birthday on March 19, the women in his life took to social media to share what he means to them. Ex-wife Demi Moore wrote, “[We] are so grateful for you.” Eldest daughter Rumer called Bruce “the funniest, most tender, charming, out of this world silly talented and magical papa.” Daughter Scout praised him as “a tender, moody, beautiful, very Piscean man whose depth of love for his family can only be felt, not articulated.” Current wife Emma Heming said “being wrapped in his arms is the safest place in this whole wide world.” They’re savoring every moment and memory because the Bruce they knew is slipping away. In early 2023 — a year after the Die Hard star…