O TENDER CHILD OF BUT SIX YEARS: MAY THIS MASSIVE MOTOCROSS-STYLE HELMET, COMPLETE WITH 14 INTAKE VENTS, FIT AND PROTECT YOU, FOR I UNDERSTAND NOT THE WAYS OF THE ONLINE SIZING CHART.
I clicked purchase, and two weeks later my son, Casper, and I were roaring across a high sage desert, darkness falling, canyons plunging, chunky rocks looming, frigid wind howling, expensive epic of cinematic masculinity unfolding.
What in the end does a father want for his child? I wanted Casper to not get pneumonia on the first fucking day of our trip. But in his infinite wisdom, the god of the utility terrain vehicle (or UTV) forsook windshields, windows, climate control, and, for that matter, an effective muffler. I draped my coat across the boy’s little lap.
“Don’t let…
