Innehållsförteckning för 17-Nov-2016 från Pick Me Up!

What A Joke! Having vowed I’d try my hand at stand-up this year, palms clammy, I went on stage… ‘Everyone laughed when I said I’d make it as a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now..!’ To learn how, go to www.londoncomedycourse.com 11 Series 11 of one of my all-time fave sitcoms Red Dwarf is back on our screens. For 11 facts about the spaced-out crew, go to www.lifedeathprizes.com/ red-dwarf-facts What A Night! I had a sparkling Bonfire Night! After the 1605 Gunpowder Plot, the nickname 'Guy’ caught on, highlighting Mr Fawkes’ treason. Effigies have been burned on bonfires ever since, with the practice said to ward off evil spirits. What A Stripper! Arranging a hen do, I was unsure whether to get a stripper. So I brought along this little…

Why Cats Are Just So Much Better Than Dogs… (WELL, IF YOU’RE A CAT PERSON!) 1They don’t need 'walkies’. 2They do like fussy cuddles. 3 You  don’t have to clean up after them (except for house cats). 4They bring gifts (albeit often dead or injured ones). 5They're just sooooo cute. Who Said It? Trump Or Tom? 1. 'If you risk failure, then you also risk success.’ 2. 'Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.’ 3. Without passion, you don’t have energy. Without energy, you have nothing.’ 4. 'If you’ve got something to say, say it from the rooftops.’ THE 80S RULED! Comedies, coming-of-age dramas, heartfelt flicks – we loved them all. Especially this trio of classics… BEST Baking Tips From Yesteryear •…

1 Leptospirosis is spread by animals. 2 Symptoms can include jaundice. 3 The condition is common in the UK. 4 It must be treated with surgery. 1 TRUE Humans catch leptospirosis through contact with water or soil contaminated with the urine of animals infected with leptospira bacteria. Known animal carriers include pigs, cows, dogs and rodents. 2 TRUE Most cases cause mild, flu-like symptoms, but severe infections can cause jaundice, swollen feet or hands and coughing blood. 3 FALSE Leptospirosis is uncommon in Britain, but people who regularly deal with animals, like vets, are more at risk. Those in contact with rivers and lakes are also more susceptible. 4 FALSE It’s usually treated with antibiotics, but severe cases require hospitalisation and intravenous antibiotics. Left untreated, infections can be life-threatening. Next…

‘I didn’t want to accept that it’d happened to me’ You never think it’s going to happen to you. I was in a pub I knew, 10 minutes from my home where my boyfriend was waiting for me. I’d lived in the area for over a decade. Had walked that route back to mine countless times. But my decision to walk home alone that night in February 2015 changed my life forever... My boyfriend Tom and I had been out drinking since 4pm. He’d already headed home by the time I’d finished. And perhaps I didn’t realise how drunk I was until I stepped out into the cold night air at around 11.30pm. Shivering, I was keen to get home as soon as possible. Everything that happened next was a…

‘Pain seared through my arm, shoulder and leg’ The rain was hammering down as I gazed out of the kitchen window. ‘I need to get the washing in!’ I grumbled to myself. It was 20 September this year, and a fierce storm was raging outside the home I share with my parents Noel, 72, and Pat, 68. It’d been hot and sunny in the morning when I’d hung my washing out on the line to dry, but, by the afternoon, rain clouds had gathered and burst. Now everything was drenched. ‘I’m going to wait until the rain eases off,’ I said to Mum as the thunder roared. ‘No point in rushing out there now.’ Bolt from the blue Soon, the awful weather seemed to calm down, so, thinking the worst…

Flattering Fashion Keep out the cold with a slim-fit coat that’s belted to give you an hourglass figure, £54.99 from New Look. We love the big fur collar, too – oh-so glam! Try this…. M&S Skinny Mini Beef Meatballs, 200g, £2.50 With less than 3% fat and only 132 calories per portion (that’s a generous 12 meatballs), these are a great option for a healthier dinner. Princes Fruit Refreshers, £1.04, Asda With no added sugar, these drinks contain just 25 calories or fewer and come in Cranberry; Pineapple, Coconut & Lime; Mango, Pineapple, Peach & Passion Fruit, Peach & Raspberry; and Orange, Lemon & Lime. Get Moving! Walking Home For Christmas… If you need a push to get you up and walking more, sign up to Walking With The Wounded’s…

‘Getting out of the tub, a strong contraction hit me’ When I first met my fiance Chris Croad, 31, I was a waitress, he was my manager. It was when he left four years later, in 2010, that we got together. And soon, I was pregnant. After a 14-hour labour, Ollie was born at St Mary’s Hospital, Isle of Wight, in August 2011. Pregnant again in February last year, Chris and I were thrilled. ‘I’d like a home birth, but I’d worry something would go wrong,’ I told Chris, and he agreed, so I made arrangements with St Mary’s Hospital. On 19 September last year, four days overdue, I was uncomfortable, and Chris was unwell after a tummy bug. My mum Linda, 52, took Ollie overnight, so we could both…

“I felt really exhilarated as I twisted and turned’ For as long as I remember, my back has given me gyp. Growing up, I was a keen dancer, so I put my aches and pains down to training. At 15, my mum, Jacqueline, now 55, took me to a bra-fitting. And in the changing room... ‘I didn’t notice before,’ she said, but your spine looks wonky.’ She took me to see the GP who referred me for an X-ray. The consultant told me I had scoliosis, an abnormal curvature and twisting of the spine. Tests revealed that my spine was curved at a 30-degree angle. But doctors couldn’t operate until it was at least 50 degrees. Over the next few months, my pain worsened and some days I was crippled…

As I walked into my audition at The Academy of Creative Training, I was nervous. I really, really, wanted to get on the Acting course at the Brighton-based school. But I was terrified the audition panel would be distracted from my performance by how I looked. See, my body was covered in acne. It’d started when I was 16 - small patches at first, on my face and back. But by the time I was 22, it was on my legs, arms, even my bottom. Thankfully, I won my place at the Academy. I was so happy. But I still struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem. Not good news for a wannabe actor! My social life was affected, too. I didn’t want to go out feeling uncomfortable in my skin.…

I already had three boys when I fell pregnant for the fourth time in November 2012. Everybody said I’d have a girl this time for sure. But I knew I was having a boy. And my lads Ruban, 11, Eshan, 7, and Kamran, 6, were excited to have another brother. But as the weeks passed, something didn’t feel right... Call it mum’s intuition, but this pregnancy felt different. And I was getting much bigger. At my 12-week scan, my suspicions were confirmed... ‘You’re having twins!’ the sonographer said with a smile. I’m going to be a mum of five! I thought to myself. Though I was nervous, I felt up to the task and couldn’t wait to meet my tiny twosome. If only life were that simple... I was in…

Apple, Honey And Vanilla Custard Pie Serves: 8 Prep Time: 30 min + chilling Cook Time: 1hr 50 min Pastry: • 350g plain flour • 50g self-raising flour • 50g cornflour • Large pinch salt • 275g cold, cubed butter • 100g golden caster sugar • 3 large egg yolks, beaten with 1tsp vanilla-bean paste and 2tbsp cold water • A little of the beaten egg for sealing and brushing • 2tbsp sugar, to decorate Filling: • 2 medium eggs, plus 2 yolks • 100g clear honey • 1 tbsp self-raising flour • 250ml double cream • 1tsp vanilla-bean paste • 1.25kg dessert apples, cored and thinly sliced 1 Preheat oven to 170C/Gas 3. 2 Sift flours, cornflour and salt into a food processor, add butter and whizz to resemble…

‘I felt so close to her – I’d treasure that note forever’ ‘He’d found the letter, with a picture of me and Mam’ Boxes of books, photos, ornaments and CDs filled the living room. I was 11, and we were moving. ‘You never realise how much stuff you have,’ my dad Keith smiled. Suddenly, amid the mess and chaos, Dad pulled a letter out of his back pocket. ‘Sweetheart, your mam wrote this letter before she died,’ he said. ‘I’ve never thought you were old enough before. But now...’ The envelope had gone yellow over the years. But to me, it was a treasure. ‘Mam,’ I whispered. It was like holding a piece of her, after all these years... My mam Lisa had died when I was just 4. She’d…

PetSafe Automatic Ball Launcher, £129.99, intl.petsafe.net Save your arms and let your pooch play fetch all by themselves! This gadget fires out tennis balls with different distance settings. It works indoors and outdoors and even has an automatic rest mode so dogs don’t wear themselves out! Verdict: BONKERS! Barking mad, but brilliant! Pink Parcel Period Subscription Box, from £10.50 per month, www.pinkparcel.co.uk You won’t get caught out by your period with this handy box. It’s delivered monthly and contains your choice of sanitary protection, as well as some lovely treats, from stationary to beauty products. Verdict: GENIUS! A lovely monthly pick-me-up! Dual Display Day Clock, £49.99, www.unforgettable.org Designed to help disorientated dementia sufferers, this can be set to show the time in 12- or…

3D: ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE Tweet if you like my new beak We love this proud toucan with his new, 3D-printed prosthetic beak. Print your own home This 3D house in China could save a fortune in mortgage repayments! Medical miracle A 3D-printed stethoscope (below) was designed for areas in the Gaza Strip that lacked basic equipment. RIDDLE ME THIS Can you solve these fiendish puzzles? 1 A woman has two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day, of the same year. They were not twins. How could this be? 2 A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man thanks him and leaves. What happened? 3…

“With Varley by his side, now Daniel never feels isolated” Born in February 2006, at 2 weeks old my son Daniel was diagnosed profoundly deaf. Further tests revealed he’d been born without both cochleas, which form part of the inner ear. A rare condition, it meant even hearing aids wouldn’t help him. ‘He’ll never hear,’ I was told. I worried for Daniel’s future. But me, my hubby Michael, 51, and our older sons William, then 12, and Christopher, 9, adjusted by learning the ‘total communication’ approach. It combines sign language with other methods like using symbols and objects to ensure Daniel could understand us, and that we understood him. Being deaf hasn’t held Daniel back. Attending a mainstream school, they have a hearing-impaired unit supporting his needs. One day in…

“I ran for the front door, but he dragged me back by my hair” The night before I jetted off on holiday Josh Gray, then 20, came over and asked if I would be his girlfriend. ‘Yes,’ I beamed, kissing him. It was November 2014, and it’d been ‘will-they-won’t-they’ since we first met in October, at the house of Danielle, 27, my best mate. Josh had charm, made me laugh, and I was soon in love. Only, he had a temper when he’d been drinking, could be controlling. He started keeping tabs on me, checking my phone. So, in January 2015, I told him it was over - but he didn’t take it well, sending me messages on Facebook all the time. But then Danielle’s house was burgled - and…

Lose Weight For Less Trying to lose a little weight before the party season? Luckily, you can now get 25% off all Atkins products at Boots until 6 November. Their new Cookies & Cream bars are really delicious! Fizzy Fun Pick up a bottle of I › Prosecco for just £7 (normally £9) at Sainsbury’s until 22 November. Like we even needed an excuse! Don’t Give It The Boot! These Board Angels Women’s Zip Trim Boots are just £24.99 (was £49.99) at www.mandmdirect.com until 12 December. The neutral shade means they’ll go with everything in your wardrobe! Hair Raising! Get your fella’s hair groomed to perfection with 33% off the Moosehead range at Superdrug until 22 November. This Grubby Putty is now just £2.69 instead of the normal £3.99. You…

Indigestion caution I used to get terrible Q indigestion but I’ve found a really effective treatment. The problem is that I need to take it all the time. Do you think I should be worried about taking it long term, and as much as I do? Maria, Birmingham A Yes, you shouldn’t take indigestion remedies for longer than a month without being assessed by a GP. Often, underlying problems can be masked by indigestion treatments. Penetrative pain Since my last baby, Q which was a difficult birth, I can’t cope with penetrative intercourse. It’s really affecting my marriage. Anna, north London A The pain you’re experiencing is caused by the vaginal muscles reflexively spasming intensely. Specialist sexual therapy, including physiotherapy and psychological counselling can help you, your partner and your…

He killed 21 innocents, five of the dead were under 11 It was another busy summer’s afternoon at McDonald’s in San Ysidro, San Diego, California. But 18 July 1984 was about to go down as a horrific day in US history. At 4pm, as families sat eating burgers and fries, a balding man wearing camouflage trousers and a black T-shirt burst in. He was heavily armed. Ready for battle. And all hell was about to be let loose... No mercy ‘Freeze!’ he yelled, firing at the crowds of diners and employees. His bullets killed a 4-month-old baby girl, other children, mums and dads. The gunman showed no mercy. He told people to lie down or he’d shoot them. Then he shot them anyway. He picked off people outside the restaurant,…

We test 3 products so you don’t have to. This week: CARROT CAKE 1 Asda Chosen By You Carrot Cake kit After mixing with eggs and milk, this makes a nice, big cake. We loved the slightly digestive-biscuity flavour. And the buttery, cream-cheese frosting is divine! 2 Morrisons Carrot Cake Kit Super-simple to make, the deep sponges came out as light as air, and with a great flavour. The kit has plenty of icing for sandwiching the cake and frosting the top. A winner! 3 Tesco Carrot Cake Kit This makes two feather-light sponges with a delicious, slightly spiced flavour, and the cream-cheese frosting is delicious. PLUS How to whip up your own at home!…

‘We got a goody bag with a selfie stick and binoculars!’ ‘We booked a river cruise with champagne and chocolates’ Gillian’s Favourite Thing 'The chat rooms are so much fun. Everyone’s really friendly and there’s often a laugh to be had.’ Gillian Williams, 65, Plymouth Reading the messages on my computer, I couldn’t help giggling to myself. ‘What’s so funny?’ my husband Roger, 68, asked. ‘The roomies are at it again,’ I laughed. I’d been a member of Pick Me Up! Bingo since January 2015. And I loved chatting to people in the chat rooms. The ‘roomies’, as they’re known, often had me in stitches with their amusing comments. They were a friendly bunch, and nattering with them was a lot of fun. I loved playing the different bingo games,…

TRIED & TESTED This week: Lip creams 1 Sleek Matte Me Ultra Smooth Matte Lip Cream, £4.99, Boots Rich, creamy texture, but a little drying after a few hours. I’d recommend gently exfoliating lips first and using with a balm. 2 MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Hustle, £3, Superdrug I couldn’t fault this for staying power. If anything, it was tricky to get off at the end of the day! I loved the colour, too – really flattering with loads of pigment. 3 Collection Velvet Kiss Moisturising Lip Cream in Mulberry, £3.99, Superdrug This felt nice and light on my lips and left them feeling nourished. It didn’t crease, either, which is a big thumbs-up from me! Pick Me Up! FOR LESS Spend £10 on Bagsy products at Debenhams…

‘Then he just flipped – pushed me to the floor’ Drinking and chatting to friends - it was the perfect weekend. It was March 2013, and I’d invited a few mates round to my one-bed flat in Evesham. ‘Is it alright if my mate comes, too?’ one of my friends had asked earlier in the day. I knew which friend he was talking about - a Portuguese guy called Francisco Batista. I’d seen him around town and he was always smiling. He seemed like a nice-enough lad. And, although I hardly knew him, we were Facebook friends. ‘The more the merrier,’ I said. By 7pm, the six of us were chatting in my living room. I was drinking cider, while Francisco and the other guys were enjoying beers. Soon, I…

‘My heart burst with pride as I wed my slender groom’ Chatting for a few weeks online to Tom Welham through Match.com, we clicked. He’s a lecturer in Film and TV Studies, and I’m a primary school teaching assistant. In one message, Tom, then 25, mentioned his love of carvery roasts. I’ve never had one , I replied. So our first date, in May 2011, was at a Toby Carvery. Handsome, Tom cut a large figure at 6ft 3in, weighing well over 20st, but I didn’t mind. On 29 May 2014, our third anniversary, Tom proposed. Delighted, I said yes. But Tom felt self-conscious. ‘I don’t want to be big in our wedding photos,’ he confessed. ‘I’ll support you,’ I said. Cutting back on savoury snacks, he lost a stone.…

ARIES 21 March–20 April Jupiter, the planet of self-expansion, helps you break down barriers, which have made for such a difficult time of late. You reach a compromise with someone to whom you thought you might never talk again. Call: 09058 170 710* TAURUS 21 April–21 May Those close to you haven’t been as understanding of your recent decisions as you’d have liked them to be. You’ll find that telling them the whole story this week, instead of the half they currently know, can make all the difference. Call: 09058 170 711* GEMINI 22 May–21 June Your dual nature has made it hard for you to feel satisfied with what you have. Part of you wonders if you made the wrong decision at the beginning of the year. Events this…

This bracelet is perfect for Christmas! Claim yours FREE* by completing the coupon and sending with a 75p stamped, self-addressed envelope to the address below. For a super festive look, order our Christmas charm set, all with clever, detachable clasps, for just £5 - snowman, Christmas tree, holly wreath, poinsettia, stocking and Christmas parcel. There’s also six Shopaholic, six Adorable Dogs and five Iced Cupcake charms for only £5 per set. The complete collection costs just £20 and, if you order it all, you’ll receive a mystery jewellery gift - absolutely free! A wonderful Christmas present, or a lovely little treat for you! CREDIT CARD ORDERS: Phone 0185 834 5108 and quote PMU21. Lines open seven days a week (not available for free bracelet only). All applications must be received…