Indholdsfortegnelse for November 2021 i Cosmopolitan

26 COLLECTIVE HOURS SPENT CONSUMING #BAMARUSHTOK. (YES, WE WROTE THIS IN AUGUST.) 15 thirsty staf fers who tested 102 bottles of vino over 2 months to top off our annual Wine Awards on page 50 and online at Cosmopolitan.com/WineAwards. 56 “OMG?!?!” Slacks sent while repor ting page 10. 14 attempts to scratch and sniff this photo (recreate it yourself using page 49). 42 balls of yarn that led one editor to live her best grandma life. Nir vana found (page 24). 13 FAMILY MEMBERS WHO NEED TO READ PAGE 60. JUST SAY IN’. 12 TRULY THRIVING BENNIFER STANS. 17 laptop crashes. Obviously blaming this on astrology.…

1 Hugh Jackman was a gym teacher. 2 Christopher Walken worked as a lion tamer. 3 Nicole Kidman did a stint as a massage therapist. 4 Tan France spent some time as a flight attendant. 5 Gabourey Sidibe was a phone-sex operator. 6 Whoopi Goldberg was a beautician at a funeral home. 7 Jerry Springer served as the real-life mayor of Cincinnati in the ’70s. 8 Rihanna was a junior army cadet in Barbados. 9 Danny DeVito worked as a hairdresser. 10 Steve Buscemi was a firefighter. 11 Chrissy Metz started as a talent agent. 12 John Legend worked a desk job at a consulting group. 13 Taraji P. Henson was a receptionist at the Pentagon. 14 Ava DuVernay was a publicist.…

Or as I now prefer to call the 23-year-old actor, Hero Beauregard Faulkner Fiennes Tiffin. (Yes, that’s his real name, and yes, he’s very British.) While he was on a break from steaming up your screen as Hardin Scott in the After series, we chatted about his real-life date game and also…chess. And before you ask, I did, in fact, drool over his accent the entire time. Let’s start off easy. What were you doing right before this? I woke up very late. I’ve literally had a shower, got dressed, and chatted to my dad. I’m staying at home for a moment, trying to find a new place to rent. Will this be your first all-by-yourself home? I think I’m going to live alone, but I’m going to try and…

So, hi. Many people already know the correct way to measure for a bra—some have even been measured “professionally” at the mall in what can only be described as one of the most awk encounters of our teen years. Yet somehow, pretty much none of us are wearing the right size. I believe the scientific term for this is…huh? What it all boils down to is this: Boobs change! You know, generally growing into an adult means that size fluctuations happen. And measuring is kinda hard! DW, though, we’re here to walk you through it *and* then double-check that you have the right size by problem solving the most common fit issues. So get into ya birthday suit and scooch your eyes to the top right. Nothing awkward about it,…

1 You splurged on new towels and they’re nicer than any of your actual clothes. 2 You’re air-drying today (IYKYK). 3 You’re already 30 minutes late to drinks. What’s another 2.5 hours? 4 You’ve almost—SO CLOSE—scrolled to the bottom of your ex’s new significant other’s IG. 5 You’re also in a second IG black hole: the comments on a now-canceled influencer’s latest post. 6 You’re working on your ~mindfulness~ (read: doing absolutely nothing and loving it). 7 Your dinner plans were *blissfully* rescheduled and your bed is now your home for the foreseeable future. 8 You’re getting wine drunk with your dog. That is all.…

Ninety-nine percent of the time, I don’t believe in switching up your skincare routine as the seasons change. My go-tos work perfectly fine year-round. I do, however, immediately bust out my dry brush as soon as the weather gets drier and cooler. Because it’s the only thing I’ve found that effectively tackles the scaly, nightmarish skin that comes courtesy of winter. Here, let me explain. How it works Sweeping a brush with firm bristles over your dry body helps get rid of the dead cells that make skin look flaky, says dermatologist Lily Talakoub, MD, founder of Derm to Door. And before you ask, yes, it’s more effective than using a scrub. While the process may be a bit too intense for folks with eczema, sensitive skin, or active body…

1 LANDLORD PHONE-ANSWERING FREQUENCY Anytime? Some of the time? Maybe on Wednesdays at 4 p.m.? A toggleable scale feels appropriate here. 2 HAUNTED Maybe you’re into creepy, invisible roommates who don’t pay rent. Maybe you’d like to avoid that. Either way. 3 SMELLS Like “views” but perhaps even more important. 4 MAX STAIRS Especially useful for “more than 15 steps and I’m sleeping in the hallway” types. 5 PACKAGE THIEVERY Sometimes, often, never…not a deal breaker, but you could think about saving your sick days for FedEx deliveries, depending on the situation. 6 PLANT-FRIENDLY Not “Can I have them?” More like “Will literally any species survive?” 7 NEIGHBOR SOUNDS You deserve to know what goes down when you’re not viewing this apartment on your lunch hour. 8 CUTE DOG NEXT DOOR TBH, an amenity we all deserve!…

Remember back in April when it seemed like literally everyone was buying that elusive thing called Dogecoin to screw over Wall Street and also make bank by getting in on cryptocurrency? But then… not everyone got rich, and some even lost, like, ev-er-y-thing? Still, it’s not weird to be very, very intrigued by the idea of becoming a Bitcoin billionaire—even if you’re unclear on how, uh, any of it actually works. That’s why we’re here to quell your FOMO with everything you need to know. FYI, cryptocurrency’s value isn’t based on any thing “real.” The crypto overlord is a computer. First, this kind of cash comes in the form of intangible digital units (aka you can’t physically touch them) often called tokens or coins. Unlike traditional paper money, they’re not…

GUAC ’N’ CRANBERRIES DIP THE INGREDIENTS 2 or 3 soft avocados1 diced shallot1 diced jalapeño1 lime Chopped cilantro, to taste Salt1 cup fresh cranberries Pomegranate seeds, to taste THE RECIPE 1. Buy your fave chunky guac from the store (we won’t tell) or make the guac in a mixing bowl using the avos, shallot, jalapeňo, lime juice from the lime, cilantro, and a healthy amount (read: a lot) of salt. Smoosh it up. Sample to make sure it’s to your liking because taste is subjective and I don’t want anyone @’ing me. 2. Fold in the ~festive~ cranberries just like David Rose would. 3. Sprinkle with pomegranate seeds. However many your sweet self desires. DIP WITH: pretzel crisps, tortilla chips, a toasty baguette, or a turkey leg. BRUSSELS AND ARTICHOKE…

BEST BIODYNAMIC “Somehow, this sparkling blend o’ grapes tastes like honey without being overly sweet? Could be magic, but the hints of citrus and ginger def work to keep it more refreshing than sappy.” Montinore Estate Vivacé, $25 BEST UNDER $20 “It’s organic and vegan, and some of the brand’s proceeds fund beach cleanups. Who doesn’t love a multitasker?” Souleil Vin de Bonté Le Rouge, $14 BEST NATURAL “You won’t find any funkiness in this organic red blend. Still, it’s oh so juicy, which pretty much makes it a health food.” Domaine de la Triballe Les Cinsault de la Rainette, $8 BEST ORGANIC “When that one friend who shops only at Whole Paycheck swings by, pour them this. It’s a bubbly babe that’s just dry enough to leave you wanting…

ARIES Stay steady and watch them crash and burn. TAURUS Calmly point out the flaws in their logic. GEMINI Listen closely until they tell on themselves. CANCER Don’t be swayed by their tears. LEO Just let them talk until their fire cools down. VIRGO Pay attention to what they’re *not* saying. LIBRA They don’t actually want to argue, so help them see your POV. SCORPIO It’s scary but…push their buttons. SAGITTARIUS Prove they have no idea what they’re talking about. CAPRICORN LOL, good luck. AQUARIUS Bring up what has/has not worked in the past. PISCES Show them how their idealistic worldview is sadly impractical.…

Contractions, pulses, quivers—they can all happen at any point during sex. Does “Wow, you looked so hot when I made you cum” sound familiar? I know I can’t be the only heterosexual woman in the world who’s been told I just had an epic orgasm despite, well, not having one at all. Because here, friends, is the thing: Unless you’ve specifically said the words “I just came,” a penis-having partner can’t be 100 percent sure you’ve climaxed during P-in-V sex. Like, sure, maybe he felt your leg quivering uncontrollably or sensed some vaginal pressure on his peen or heard your moans reach max volume—but these things do not necessarily always equal an orgasm. And the only person who can know for sure whether or not you’ve had a moment of…

FOR CEALLY SMITH, IT FELT LIKE SHE WAS SUFFOCATING. The 33-year-old holistic health entrepreneur would spend hours consumed with conspiracy theories—about sex trafficking, children secretly being sold on a furniture website, the multimillionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. There was always another video to watch, another media lie to investigate, another stranger to enlighten. Things that once fulfilled her—exercise, her meal-prep business—no longer seemed to matter. Instead, she dug deeper and deeper into the horrors the internet presented her every day, feeling obligated, as a sexual abuse survivor, to “be the adult I needed as a child,” she says. For Anna*, a 23-year-old pharmacy student in Pennsylvania, it felt like being trapped in a vortex of fear. “I had feelings of hope, but at the same time, I was incredibly scared, distressed,…

My overall nightstand vibe Tidy and not mine. I’m currently renting a place away from home for filming. What’s inside If I told you, I’d blush for the first time in my life. What I steal from my partner’s side His water. I’m horrible. He wakes up with nothing to drink. What I wouldn’t want my mom to find Blank greeting cards! I buy and stash them in my drawer—but always forget them. When it comes to alarms… I’m a light sleeper. For those early call times, I resort to my trusty phone. Just one alarm. If I hit snooze, I’m in trouble. …and what I label them I didn’t know you could do that! But for my texts from the husband, they’re labeled “Secret Hot Guy.” My phone sitch…

One of the things that strikes me about fame is how reductive it is—how it introduces you to the world “as” something (in the case of Shakira, a captivating performer with a one-of-a-kind voice and particularly honest hips) and, for the most part, keeps you there. Once you’ve made your debut, the world has a hard time letting you evolve. But Shakira doesn’t care, and I love her for it. She’s out here skateboarding and studying philosophy (and showering in Versace dresses, apparently), and that, maybe more than anything, is why she’s still such an icon. Doesn’t hurt that she also appreciates the value of The Official Cosmo Snack, aka Cheetos. @Jessica_Pels…

1. Your favorite festive dish is: a. My vegan mac and cheese is so good, you’ll forget your own name. b. Anything I can add butter to. Which is a lot of things. c. I cook it all, so it’s impossible to pick. d. Whatever looks best, bc my phone always eats first. e. The potatoes. That is all. 2. It’s not Thanksgiving without… a. Conning my grandma into filming a TikTok. b. Napkins folded the way YouTube taught me. c. Defending my turkey. It’s *not* burnt. d. Taking the dreaded Christmas card photo. e. My family roasting me for, well, everything. 3. Whatcha wearing? a. Ripped jeans, and my uncle will ask if I paid for them that way. b. “Oh, this dress? I’ve had it for years!” c.…

According to the one-minute clips that flooded my TikTok this past summer, crocheting is a fun hobby you can do while watching TV. According to the trends currently dominating Instagram, I must have quirky, colorful woven sweaters, dresses made from ever-iconic granny squares, and homespun bucket hats. So obviously, I needed to crochet myself some stuff. And, um, here’s how that went. THE LEAD-UP To start, I bought an obscene amount of yarn and a bunch of hooks (in crochet, you use just one hook at a time to make the loops and knots that eventually become a garment). Then I headed over to YouTube and dried out my eyeballs with h-o-u-r-s of how-tos on basic stitching (single, double, half-double…). Subscribe to Kirrilalia and Ann’s Closet if you wanna learn…

1 A chic tongue cleaner We’d be lying through our teeth (heh) if we said we didn’t love this bb that swipes away the bacteria that causes bad breath. Your smile now = even more confident, yw. Klēn Gold Tongue Cleanser, $24, klenproducts.com 2 This multi tasking oil ICYMI, oil pulling is the Ayurvedic practice of swishing oil around in your mouth, then spitting it out. It helps whiten teeth, reduce bacteria that causes gingivitis, and more. Terra & Co. Brilliant Black Oil Pulling, $35, terraandco.com 3 A cool water flosser Basically, a mini water gun that blasts food from between your teeth. Enough said. Burst Water Flosser, $80, burstoralcare.com 4 The pro-iest DIY whitener Aka this hydrogen peroxide serum and LED device that whiten your teeth in 10 days. Co. by Colgate SuperNova…

“This is one of the *only* matte foundations that can fully cover my acne scars and neutralize my rosacea without also sucking the life out of my dry skin.”—CHLOE METZGER, deputy beauty director “The best thing about this bb—besides the fact that it completely covers all my hyperpigmentation—is that it manages to leave my face looking dewy but never transfers onto my clothes. Magical!”—JULEE WILSON, beauty director “A rare combo: excellent at covering breakouts and shockingly lightweight (think: the consistency of a serum) so you can blend it out with just fingers. The result is skin that looks really good but still like real skin.”—L AUREN BALSAMO, deputy beauty director “Full coverage usually = thick, so the fact that this feels like nothing on my face is a win. It’s…

A thing I don’t miss about early 2020 bar culture: moments when a song you didn’t know started playing, you screamed “What is this?!” at your friend standing six inches away, and after they shrugged, you yelled the same thing to Siri. Siri: “What now?” So you’d try again…and she’d still be confused as the song ended. Well, thanks to this fun trick, you can get the info you need in the chillest of ways. Follow me if you want to be cool. STEP 1 Jump into your iPhone’s Settings app. STEP 2 Scroll down and tap on “Accessibility.” STEP 3 Hit “Touch,” then “Back Tap” (at the bottom), then “Double Tap.” STEP 4 Select “Shazam shortcut.” STEP 5 Tap the back of your iPhone twice whenever you need to…

1 FETA PASTA Pretty sure the Greeks served this salty, cheesy, tomatoey casserole (yes, it’s a casserole) at the first Olympics. 2 HOT CHOCOLATE BOMBS Hot milk exposing marshmallows and cocoa powder hidden inside a melting chocolate ball is basically a hygge treasure hunt. 3 GIGI HADID’S VODKA SAUCE Sure, it’s regs vodka sauce—but made by Khai’s mom in a fancy celeb kitchen with XXXtra red pepper flakes.;) 4 WHIPPED COFFEE This unlocked a deep memory of Tiger King, right? Now pls raise your hand if you’re still drinking this. No judgment… but are you okay? 5 PESTO EGGS Cooking an over-easy egg saturated in pesto while listening to Enya on a Sunday morning is the only vibe. Congrats on being just a lil bit more luxe than the rest of the plebes. 6 NATURE’S CEREAL…

Because it’s only right that we honor the liquid salvation that delivers us from awk work Zoom parties and fuels our cherished Friendsgiving traditions. Cosmo’s “wine” “experts” (read: editors) tested approx one zillion bottles to bring you the best. Observe. GENERAL EXCELLENCE BEST WHITE “Funky and fresh, it’ll trick your friends into thinking you hand selected it after acing the vino course at Le Cordon Bleu. Hell, it might even convert ‘I-don’t-like-white-wine’-ers.” Maison Noir Wines Bottoms Up, $25 BEST ORANGE “Yes, the goddess sauvy b comes in this sexy hue. You: now in a big sweater, a fedora, and a glass of this (yes, in it) till further notice.” The Family Coppola Gia Orange Sauvignon Blanc, $25 BEST LOW-ABV “The answer to fun hangs and waking up before noon. It…

1 ARIES You always take the initiative. Possibly related: You were voted most likely to own a riding crop. 2 TAURUS Your collection of candles, silk sheets, and massage oils is everything. 3 GEMINI Is there a Pulitzer Prize for sexting? Bc you deserve it. 4 CANCER Intuition = your super power, aka you’re basically psychic about what your partner wants. 5 LEO Look, you’re hot, and you make everyone around you feel hot too. Mirror sex, anyone? 6 VIRGO Phoebe Waller-Bridge is begging to adapt your role-play scripts. 7 LIBRA Whether on top, on bottom, on the desk… you’re flexible. Very. 8 SCORPIO Everyone you date learns that remote control vibrators make life better. 9 SAGITTARIUS Hello there, president of the Mile High Club. 10 CAPRICORN No matter what, you’re the boss—which is exactly how your lovers like it.…

ARIES (03.21–04.19) All this intense Scorpio astro weather is making you feel passionate and determined. What or who do you want most right now? Get out there and get it, bb! CANCER (06.21–07.22) Congrats! Your chart’s romance/sex/fun zone is being lit TF up. Meaning, yup, best month ever. And if you want to upgrade your relationship status, mark your cal for the 18th. TAURUS (04.20–05.20) Your love life is heating up—in either a very sexy way or a fighting-all-the time way (sry). Trying to be a little less stubborn this month will help you avoid unnecessary drama. LEO (07.23–08.22) Get cozy, because the stars are as king you to spend all month chilling at home. Don’t worry though—starting on the 21st, Sag season is giving your love life a glow-up. LIBRA (09.23–10.22) This Scorpio…

“I didn’t see my BF. I saw someone straight out of a horror movie. And I liked it.” I’m not sure where exactly my infatuation with clowns came from, but it’s kind of always been my thing. As a former professional SFX makeup artist, I would spend hours creating looks—a creepy fish, a demon—to share on my Instagram account. But I found that I felt sexiest when transformed into an IRL Pennywise. One Halloween, my partner and I made plans to dress up as Suicide Squad– inspired clowns. I did our makeup, obviously, using only black and red all over his face and splattering fake blood wherever I could. We spent two full hours perfecting our getups. He looked extremely creepy. At the end of the night, he and I…

SHAKIRA HAS ALWAYS MADE ME WANT TO BE IN MY BODY, FULLY AND JOYFULLY. She’s one of the few artists who has true cross-generational cred—from 12-year-old girls who memorize her choreography to my 85-year-old mom who raves about her philanthropy. The guttural power in her voice and her movement—the swaying and undulating and side hip-thrusting that could push you over a ledge—have helped her sell more than 80 million records, win 14 Grammys, and earn more than 18 billion YouTube views, numbers that will only climb higher when her new album gets released (date TBD, but soon!). She’s also always felt so real. So powerful, so confident. Which is why it shocked me to hear her talk about her insecurities—although those immediately felt real too. I’ve covered Latino issues as…

JUST TAKE A LOOK AROUND the next time you head to a major beauty retailer: Entire sections—both IRL and virtual—are now dedicated to showcasing the best “clean” skin, hair, and makeup products. And you probably can’t even scroll through your Instagram without seeing new clean beauty brands, formulas, or influencers pop up on your feed. Clean beauty is everywhere, and chances are, you’re into it: More than one-third of you either already use these kinds of products or want to start using them, according to a new Cosmo poll. Except, at the same time… 53 percent of you are unclear about what clean beauty actually is. The short answer is that it’s complicated, sometimes needlessly so. The long answer is, well, this story. Read on for every bit of info…

Do you consider yourself an actual gamer or just someone who likes video games? 50% I’m def a gamer. 50% It’s more of a light hobby for me. Where are you generally playing? 59% I’ve got a separate console. 29% My computer! 12% On my phone. What kind of games are you into? (Check all that apply.) 68% Life-simulation games. 67% Action-adventure games. 51% Party games. 43% Online competitive games. 26% Sports-based games. Did you pick up gaming during the pandemic? 81% Nope, I’ve always been into it. 19% Yes. Are you pro or anti cheat codes? 40% Pro! Sometimes you’ve gotta work smarter, not harder. 34% Anti. I want to earn my wins! 26% Wait, they’re still a thing? And…have you ever built your Sims a pool without ladders on…

1. JACQUARD When a pattern is woven *into* fabric (impressive) rather than printed on top (kinda lazy, jk, jk). 2. PLEATED If an accordion were transformed into clothing… like that. 3. QUILTED Patterned seams (typically shaped into squares or diamonds) frame plush lil pockets of poly or down fill. 4. RUCHED Aka gathered material that creates a ~ripple~ effect that’s less uniform than pleats. 5. SMOCKED Parallel stitching that forms an intricate design. It also tends to have lots of stretch, TG. 6. TWEED Rough wool that’s often woven in plaid or chevron patterns. 7. BROCADE A thick weave usually featuring florals. Marie Antoinette was probs a fan. UM, WOW Influencer Gitta Banko knows it’s all about incorporating multiple textures into one ’fit to look luxe as hell.…

WE! LOVE! STRUCTURE! In life, in architecture, and in fashion. Level up any old ’fit with a trendy bag that’s definitely a monument in its own right.…

BIG (BIG) HAIR Blessed with naturally curly hair? Congrats, you’ll only need to pick out your roots a lil bit to cash in on these vibes. Everyone else: A skinny curling wand, some texturizing spray, and a whole lotta patience are your BFFs for getting big, bouncy, cotton-candy volume. WATERFALL UPDO The key to this Whitney Houston–inspired updo is…giving zero fucks. Pile your hair on top of your crown and pin in place, letting pieces fall. If you have fine hair, massage your roots with mousse first for XXL volume. THE BRUSH-BACK It’s true—side parts and sky-high hairlines are making a comeback, and they’re super simple to do. Finger-rake your hair back, then mist your hairline and roots with strong hold hairspray. Once it all dries, rake through your roots…

And it’s not always 100p intentional: While there are def those evil managers who thrive on making you feel stuck, there are plenty of others who don’t even realize they’re undermining you. What matters most is figuring out WTF is actually happening so that you can take control. Check off any of the scenarios below that apply to you, add up those checks, and turn your attention to the right. ■ The last time your boss talked to you about your career, Selena and Justin were together. ■ You proposed a baller new initiative but were told to “just keep doing what you’re doing.” ■ You worked your butt off on a major project only for your boss to present your results to the team… ■ …and you weren’t even…

Let’s not pretend a chicken breast is, like, the sexiest lunch or dinner option on your regularly scheduled rotation. But chicky boob does happen to be the perfect base for more attractive ingredients—like foods that melt. Follow this easy recipe for inspo, then keep reading to find other flavor combos to experiment with next week. THE RECIPE Carefully slice through the raw fillet horizontally, leaving a lil “hinge” on one side; fill it with layers of roasted red peppers, mozzarella, and basil leaves; season all over with salt and pep; and bake at 400 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes (or until the juices run clear). Thank the chicken for being so delicious. Eat. FILL IT UP CREAM CHEESE + SPINACH + CHOPPED ARTICHOKE HEARTS SLICED ZUCCHINI + FETA CHEESE…