In 1893, Bostonian Katharine Lee Bates rode a mule to the 14,110-foot summit of Pikes Peak and was so moved by the sprawling vista that she wrote what became the lyrics for “America the Beautiful.” Later she recounted the “sea-like sweep of the plain” before her, which I picture as being tranquil but for the sigh of the breeze and the mules pawing at the dirt.
Had she composed her poetic description on, say, June 29, 2014, though, our second national anthem might have some unusual new words.
“O beautiful for spacious … roar, blat, blat, blat
“For amber waves of … whoosh, chortle-pop, whoosh, chortle—pop, pop, pop
“For purple mountain, majesties … wEEEo—wEEEo … wEEE—wEEEo…wEEEo—wEEEo.”
Wait a minute. What the heck was that one?
It was the piercing car-alarm…
