“Hello, Mr Wakeman,” said the middle-aged man as I stepped off the train.
“Hello,” I replied, and the conversation took a downturn from there.
“You’ve put on a lot of weight,” he remarked, looking me up and down while the other passengers walked around us.
Inside, I was shaking my head at how someone I’d never met could be so rude, but I took a deep breath, smiled and replied, “I know, I’ve had a lot on my plate…”
He completely missed the joke and continued with another misguided question.
“Is that why you wear a cape?”
Attack seemed the best form of defence, so I asked him, “When did you go bald?”
He looked shocked and replied, “Pardon?”
“I asked you when you went bald, and may I further…