Back Street Heroes May 2023

This weather, eh? Doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing at all, does it? I saw summat the other day that said that, due to global warming, the seasons as we know ‘em (winter, spring, summer, autumn) have been replaced, and we now have: Winter Fool’s Spring Second Winter Deceptive Spring Third Winter Mud Season Actual Spring Summer Pretend Autumn Second Summer (which only lasts a week) Actual Autumn And then it’s Winter again and, I don’t know about you, but that makes about as much sense as anything else these days, it really does. Anyway, it’s April and that means for many of us the start of the biking season. Yes, yes, I know that for some the idea of a biking ‘season’ is something scornful but, as…

I went there on a bike in 2005, and was struck by how blissful such roads were. Me and a mate rode for hours hardly seeing another vehicle, and standing in a petrol station somewhere in the middle of nowhere we saw a whole Swedish bike club go past, at speed, all on low-slung, 20-plus-inch over forked Harleys. One or two of them raised their hands as they passed, and we both agreed it was one of the coolest things we’d ever seen. Mind you, we both said, those bikes’d probably be bloody hard work on our tight and twisty British roads… Bob Elvin, the owner and builder of this’ere Swedish-style chop’d always fancied building a long bike in the Scandinavian style, but’d never quite go round to it. He…

Surely, the age of 30’s when you’re meant to be a grown adult? Hmm, maybe – as I looked round the site in wonderment, I was reminded of that old Facebook meme, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a biker! Well, make your mind up, you can’t be both.’ I vaguely recall my 30 birthday (almost 30 years ago now) – a very liquid party with interesting consequences, including my dad falling asleep in the only loo; an ex-girlfriend informing me she was now a lesbian; and, in the aftermath, a plan to ride my then GPz550 around the UK (which didn’t happen). The venue for the party, The Hook & Hatchett, has to be one of the most hidden away pubs anywhere in the UK –…

I'D picked a route that avoided riding into the sun, as a heatwave wasB forecast, and as I rode along, I got to thinking about Dorset Knobs* – a strange, hard, rusk-like roll, baked since the 1800s, that the area’s known for. There is, famously, a Dorset Knob-throwing competition but, sadly, it was cancelled (no idea if t was ‘cos of venues/dates/whatever, or whether it was the woke objecting to the name), so I was unable to demonstrate my sporting prowess… probably a good thing, though, as my triple-axis swan-throw is technically an illegal move. Anyway, considering the Dorset lads’d to make a last-minute venue change the turnout was impressive. Despite the official start time being midday, by 11.30 the guys marshalling’d their work cut out showing early-arriving folk where…

NO, really, it was – you had a Frenchman playing a Scotsman who was pretending to be an American (hence, perhaps, the strange accent), and an actual Scotsman playing an Egyptian who was pretending to be Spanish… sorry, wot? James Cox and his dad, Big Al of NCC Herts, used to watch Highlander together when James was little, and he still vividly remembers his dad shouting: “There can be only one!” always after he’d had a few. He also remembers watching him build bikes in a garage in Letchworth, and can recall the distinct smells and sounds as they were being built. Being a little boy looking up to his dad, he knew he had a huge passion for bikes, and loved getting out on the road, and he can…

Friday night was a balmy summer’s evening with plenty of seating out in the courtyard; the clubhouse was open for campers with entertainment by rock covers band Mary’s Dog – bikes, band, beer and banter, a perfect start to a perfect weekend. Although smaller than the previous year, as was pretty much everything I went to in 2022, the show ran like clockwork, and there were many high-quality builds on display. Kent uses the same format as the late, lamented Bulldog Bash with show entries booked in over the internet in advance, while anything showworthy that came through the gate directed to the courtyard by a little ‘We think this should be in the show’ tag hung on the ‘bars. It’s a long show day, and winners’re chosen by…