Indholdsfortegnelse for April 2020 i Fairlady

in a world where people are increasingly cautious about speaking their minds, it’s a relief to talk to people who just call it as they see it. This issue is packed with women who do just that, from Charlize Theron, who has always played the Hollywood game better than anyone else – and always according to her own rules – to Prue Leith, who’s lived a life entirely on her own terms, to Kathy Lee, who gave up her career as a high-powered lawyer to become a pole dancing instructor – because that’s what she wanted to do. On page 40, one woman tells a heartbreaking story, and cautionary tale, about her own infidelity and what she’s learning as she works her way through the fallout. Being honest – with…

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1 ‘Empty your mind instead of spilling your over-full cup on others.’ Empty your mind and leave all preconceptions and prejudices behind when entering a room for the first time. Euny explains that when your mind is full of assumptions about situations or people, you will have difficulty seeing what is really in front of you and realising how to behave accordingly. She recommends closing your eyes and focusing on your breath for a few minutes before you enter to clear your mind. 2 Understand your influence When you enter a room, you will inevitably change it. Euny explains that every room has its own ‘temperature’, ‘barometric pressure’ or mood, and that these are in constant flux. Everyone contributes to the mood of the room – just by being there.…

South Africa has a rich history of storytelling. And while we don’t routinely sit around a campfire telling tales under the stars any longer (wait, does a braai count?), we all still have stories to share. Think online dating horror stories, reminiscing about a loved one who has passed away, the I-shouldn’t-be-alive adventure stories or just a good old gossip session. ‘Stories are much more powerful than you think,’ says former Carte Blanche presenter Ruda Landman. ‘Facts don’t convince people,’ she says. ‘Stories do.’ We might understand things with our minds, but it’s our hearts that ultimately move us to empathy and action. ‘If you look into any culture, you’ll find storytelling and oral traditions. It’s a part of the way we engage with one another, it’s the way we…

I met John Playfair, Prue Leith’s second husband (or, as she teasingly refers to him, ‘my current husband’), at her cooking demo in Cape Town, so I know he really does exist – otherwise I might have been tempted to propose to her myself. She’s one of those people you just want to be around forever: clever, funny, positive, curious, fun (her kids would say ‘tiring’ she says), both interesting and interested (quite rare, in famous people) and self-deprecating without that kind of fake modesty that makes you want to smack someone in the head with their Michelin star – or perhaps, in her case, her CBE (Commander of the Order of the British Empire). Plus, she’s a fabulous cook, obviously… I’m not sure it gets much better than that.…

Forgive yourself. If you can’t do that, it’s impossible to fully commit to your partner or to create a new path, because a part of you will always be missing. The endless cycle of bitter self-reproach is so destructive that before you can commit to a loving and honest relationship with someone else in the future, you have to have a loving and honest relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your actions and accept that you were capable of them. You strayed from your partner and your own values. You did. Accept it. Only then can you stop wrestling with your past and find the calm you need to change and grow. It’s humbling to recognise and acknowledge your weaknesses and to accept your flaws. Try to find any possible positives from…

the wind howls and hail rattles against the windows of my room on the upper floor of Carnaween House. There is nothing to fear. The sturdy building has withstood many a tempest and this flurry of bad weather is hardly that. This is the Wild Atlantic Way, after all – the scenic route that showcases Donegal’s rugged coastal beauty – and one should expect a few theatrics. I burrow under the duvet, listening to the dull roar of rain and sea beyond the thick glass panes, and drift back to sleep. In the morning I roll up the blind and gasp – no, really! There is a physical jolt as the view registers in my brain. It is the light that is so arresting. Both silver and gold, it glances…

You need to visit a 3X4 Genetics accredited practitioner and ask for a DNA test. The practitioner will then do a quick and painless cheek swab. The swab looks like a big earbud and it’s rubbed on the inside of your cheek, collecting cheek cells. Your practitioner will send off the sample to the 3X4 Genetics lab in Durban. 3X4 Genetics produces a Blueprint report that is shared with your practitioner. Your practitioner will then go through the findings with you. The reason they don’t send the results directly to you is that everyone wants to jump on Dr Google and interpret their own genes… Your 3X4 Genetics-accredited practitioner will explain how the results should affect your everyday decision-making. Price: R5400, including an hour-long online feedback session with a 3X4…

Q With loadshedding back on the table, do you think it’s worthwhile to look at alternative energy sources like solar panels and batteries to power my home? A Ah, how nice of Eskom to give us the gift of candlelit dinners and board game nights! (She says, her words dripping with sarcasm.) Alternative energy sources like solar panels are getting cheaper every year (it’s still not CHEAP: you’re looking at around R250K–R350K to get a medium-sized house off the grid, but it’s much cheaper than it used to be). Most estimates I’ve seen indicate that installing alternative energy sources in private homes pays for itself over 3–5 years, so it certainly seems worth exploring if you own your own home and intend to stay put for a while. Bear in…

Keep accessories to a minimum when wearing cowboy boots.…

BAKED FENNEL WITH PARMESAN CHEESE SERVES 6–8 (as a side dish) I used to blanch fennel before roasting it, but if the oven is really hot, you don’t need to. This is one of my favourite side dishes. • 4 fennel bulbs • 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil • 2 garlic cloves, finely grated • 3 teaspoons fennel seeds, coarsely crushed in a mortar • 3 teaspoons chilli flakes • sea salt flakes and freshly ground black pepper • 25g Parmesan cheese, finely grated 1. Preheat the oven to 190°C fan-forced (400°F); gas mark 6. 2. Trim the tips of the fennel bulbs, halve them and remove any coarse or discoloured outer leaves (reserve any little fronds you find). Cut each half into 2-2.5cm thick wedges, keeping them intact at the base. Toss in a bowl with…

Chenin – originally from the Loire Valley in France, where it was grown to produce table wine – is one of the oldest varietals in South Africa. It used to be called Steen, a million years ago. I remember Steen as being sweet, heavy and nasty – but our wine farmers (bless them) have got seriously good at it since then. You should try it again, if you’ve written it off: Chenins can vary wildly from bone-dry through sweet to sparkly; somewhere on that spectrum you’re going to find one that will blow your socks off. Three good things to know about Chenin: 1 It’s high in acidity, which means it pairs very well with food. 2 The high acidity acts as a preservative, so you can keep Chenins for…

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Aries 21 MAR – 19 APR Steady on there, pioneering Polly – the year’s only just started! And you may be feeling over it sooner rather than later if slowing down doesn’t feature on that priority list. Much to do, yes, but despite everybody’s brouhaha and incessant coffee-slugging, time isn’t really speeding up. Take a step back for now. Taurus 20 APR – 20 MAY Pretty things raise you up to blissful highs as creativity becomes a key component of this rose-tinted, easygoing phase. And why not? Adulting is a key factor in your current success trajectory, so who’s to stop you oohing over luxe brands or flirting with self-indulgent treats? A just-for-me attitude is A-okay for a spell. Gemini 21 MAY – 20 JUN Fighting back brings double the…

Vegan feast at Deer Park Café I’m not vegan, but I know people who are. And they recommended that we eat at the Deer Park Café in Cape Town anytime, really, because the food is fantastic as well as being 100% ethically researched and sourced. But for vegans, the first Tuesday of every month at the eatery is etched in stone, because that’s when DPC hosts their famous vegan buffet. The food is absolutely delicious and inspiring. Although vegan dishes are always on the menu, the non-vegan fare is just as good. Extremely well priced, too. Highly recommended! Joseph Shabalala Ladysmith Black Mambazo were part of the soundtrack of our youth, and they made us feel proud of South Africa in the eyes of the rest of the world at…

KILLER DOC Yes, it’s another Ted Bundy documentary, but not really. I probably know more about Ted Bundy’s life than my husband’s, what with all the podcasts and biopics that came out last year on the serial killer. But Amazon Prime’s Ted Bundy: Falling for a Killer promised to be something different, and it is. That’s because it’s not about him. It’s about his long-time girlfriend and her daughter: the women who loved a man who confessed to murdering 30 women (only 20 were identified) in the ’70s. The docu-series by filmmaker Trish Wood makes it clear that the misogyny of the time is the reason Bundy got away with it. Women were taught to defer to men: if you are attacked, don’t fight back; and the police probably won’t…

Swan Café Jessica Rushmere START-UP COSTS: ‘Swan Café took three years to create before we even opened the doors. I spent two of those years working with multi-award-winning SA furniture designer Haldane Martin to perfect the look of the café.’ TURNOVER: ‘We are very happy to be able to train and employ 15 staff members.’ ‘the rose-gold cages hanging from the ceiling are all open and filled with light,representing my own Lesson Learnt: to fly out of m own cage...’ A mid the hustle and bustle, the darting taxis and the general hubbub of Cape Town, you’ll find a chic little French crêperie, seemingly plucked straight from the streets of Brittany. With the red, white and blue colour scheme, the whimsical menu and the Leonardo da Vinci and Jean-Léon Gérôme…

1. You have been told any of the following: ‘Read the room’; ‘Yes, thanks, we heard you the first time’; or ‘What do you want, a medal?’ 2. You’re in a conference room at work, waiting for a meeting to start. To break the silence, you say, ‘Is this another one of George’s idiotic meetings that could have been covered in an email?’, only for George to wave at you from the corner of the room. 3. You hassle a colleague for being late on Thursday morning, only to be pulled aside and told, ‘You know he has been taking his mother for chemo every Thursday morning since September, right?’ 4. You are broaching what you think is an important topic. Someone responds by muttering, ‘Bad timing.’ 5. Your friends…

On her latest cookbook, The Vegetarian Kitchen: ‘Veg needs to be seen as the hero of the plate, not just something you tack on. These are big, bulky flavours – they’re dishes that would satisfy a carnivore.’ On which she would choose if she had to – food or writing: ‘Writing. Ultimately it’s more satisfying – you can escape into another world. And I’m a control freak. I like things I’m in charge of.’ On ‘clean eating’: ‘It’s dangerous nonsense. There’s an organic shop next to me that used to be stocked with delicious fresh produce. Now it’s just walls of supplements and cures and purges. Their biggest seller is a bottle of ‘gut cleaner’. I am not religious, but God devised a perfectly good way of cleaning your gut…

We all have to make a living. But while most of us make do with something fairly conventional that brings in a steady income, others colour way outside the lines. Meet the women who are defying tradition and making a name for themselves in weird and wonderful ways. Who knows – they may inspire you to rethink your own career path… Walk on the wild side Dr Bernice van Huyssteen Exotic-animal vet after studying to become a vet in Australia (where everything is trying to kill you – of the 25 most dangerous snakes in the world, 21 call Australia home), Dr Bernice van Huyssteen wasn’t satisfied with treating just cats and dogs when she returned home to SA. (Not that she doesn’t love them: she has a goldendoodle named…

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What exactly is the skin moisture barrier? ‘It is the outermost layer of the skin called the stratum corneum,’ says Dr Ian Webster, Cape Town-based specialist dermatologist and Dermastore founder. ‘This is a dead layer of skin that is almost like a brick wall. It’s made of cells called corneocytes, which are like the bricks, and the intercellular fats and proteins in between, which are like the mortar.’ Any disruption to the barrier will result in dry, dehydrated skin. Why is it important? Simply put, the barrier works to keep good stuff in and bad stuff out. It basically prevents water from evaporating, explains aesthetic medical practitioner Dr Alek Nikolic. ‘It serves as a protective shield against harmful microorganisms by producing anti-microbial peptides and proteins. It also regulates the absorption…

CHEAT’S CONFIT DUCK & CANDIED ORANGE SERVES 4 PREP + COOK TIME: 4 HOURS (+ REFRIGERATION) • 1 tablespoon thyme leaves •1/3 cup (100g) coarse cooking salt • 2 tablespoons Chinese 5-spice powder • 4 duck Marylands (all-in-one leg and thigh pieces; 1,2kg) • 2 cloves garlic, bruised • about 2 litres (8 cups) olive oil • ½ cup (75g) caster sugar •1/3 cup (80ml) water • 3 whole cloves • 1 medium orange (240g), sliced thinly • 120g baby rocket leaves • 1 cup loosely packed chervil sprigs •1/3 cup (35g) walnut halves, roasted VERJUICE DRESSING • 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard • 1 tablespoon verjuice (available at Woolworths) • 1½ tablespoons olive oil 1. Combine the thyme, salt and 5-spice. Place the duck in a shallow dish and rub with the salt mixture. Cover; refrigerate for 2 hours. 2. Preheat the oven…

Going Dark – The Secret Social Lives of Extremists BY JULIA EBNER Julia Ebner works for a counter-extremism think tank that watches and documents radical groups from the outside. Worrying that she isn’t getting the full picture, she goes undercover, joins various groups and experiences them from the inside out. This incredible book is the result of that brave and dangerous decision – Julia talks to Jihadi brides, goes down the rabbit hole of the QAnon conspiracy theorists (did you know that Trump is actually working with the Department of Justice to expose a secret paedophile ring involving international celebrities?), attends a neo-Nazi music festival and cosies up to some Trad Wives, defined by the Urban Dictionary as “a monogamous, heterosexual relationship which is male-led, and in which the female…

WINNING LETTER TRUE LOVE Thank you so much, Suzy, for reminding us that, ‘If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.’ I have been with the same incredible man for seven years. Friends often tried to intervene: ‘Don’t you get bored?’ ‘He hasn’t proposed... does he truly love you?’ As the clock was about to strike midnight on 1 January 2020, I told him, ‘I’m starting this year off single, or engaged.’ Drastic – but I let all those voices finally convince me I was wrong about us. Utter dread spread across his face... ‘Vanessa, I just need help. Help in choosing what’s right for you. You’re quite picky... I was scared to disappoint you.’ My heart crashed. I…

When I haven’t been glued to financial drama series Billions (which you should give a whirl if only for Damian Lewis and Paul Giamatti’s tightly scripted and brilliantly delivered scenes together), I’ve been loving the local music scene. You’d be forgiven for being unaware of the number of gifted SA musos because: a) There’s a dearth of advertising platforms for gigs and; b) The live music scene, in the Western Cape at least, is seemingly limited to the KKNK arts fest and the usual suspects at Kirstenbosch Sunset Concerts. ‘Seemingly’ is the operative word because there is an abundance of home-grown virtuosos. And you’re likely to find them at Rootspring, a shut-up-and-listen live music venue in Muizenberg where your full focus is on the musicians (rather than on your cheese…

for a while we were all about getting cosy: eating porridge by the bowlful, buying oversized sweaters and soft blankets and lighting so many candles we nearly burnt the whole place to the ground. This, all in the name of hygge – the Danish concept of cultivating cosiness. (Although let’s be honest, in our case the candles were less about hygge and more about Eskom.) Next, we attempted to spark joy, à la Marie Kondo, by getting rid of all those oversized sweaters and soft blankets and essentially stripping down the contents of our closets to the bare basics. I miss having more than one jacket. Well, brace yourself – now there’s a new wellness philosophy on the block: nunchi (noon-chee). Literally translated as ‘eye measure’, it is a South…

The YouTube video opens on a darkened stage. Facing away from the audience, a woman clad in a bejewelled black and mesh leotard raises her arms over her head. As Bishop Briggs’s Never Tear Us Apart begins to play, she reaches out and grabs hold of a pole (unusually, suspended from the ceiling). With an unfathomable tolerance for the pain of skin grazing metal, she gracefully contorts her body, twirling around and up and down the pole as her sky-high heels slice the air – a perfect study in strength and sensuality. As the last notes of the song fade, the dancer assumes a fierce stance next to the pole, then melts into a wilting flower – leaning forward, head bowed. The crowd roars off-camera, and she casually saunters off…

Keep it short. Trying to work in too much can be challenging for both you and the audience. Take your audience on a journey. They should be able to visualise where you are, what’s happening around you and what you’re doing. Pepper your story with little visuals to guide them along. Remember the arc. Audiences love to see change and transition in a character. They want to see the moment of conflict and how you resolved it. Build tension, then leave everyone on tenterhooks as to what happened next. Do a trial run. Tell your story to someone so they can let you know which parts to trim. Kill your darlings. All you need is a start, a middle, and a deep and meaningful ending with a golden thread that…

I first cheated on my husband just six months into our marriage. We’d been childhood sweethearts, together for over 10 years and best friends. It was with someone that I worked with, the stereotypical nature of it so predictable. I was not caught, and soon one dalliance spiralled into a multitude of affairs – before I knew it I’d engaged in sexual relationships with four men in the space of just a year. It’s hard to explain the magnitude of the guilt and shame. The cold spread of it as you open your eyes each morning. That small glimmer of hope where your mind convinces your body it was just a nightmare – before reality hits, slamming you into a wall. The heaviness, the tremble in each limb, the enormity…

for almost two decades, Dr Yael Joffe has studied the way nutrition and your genes interact – and her message is clear: the diet industry is… an industry. Your genes make you 100 per cent unique, and the concept of one-diet-fits-all simply cannot work. This is why more and more people around the world are turning to nutrigenomics in an effort to become optimally healthy. Nutrigenomics vs nutrigenetics ‘I’ve done two degrees as a dietician, and we all work on the same equation when dealing with clients: what you eat, what exercise you do and how stressed you are,’ explains Dr Joffe. ‘But I’ve always felt like it was missing something.’ In her twenties she worked as a dietician in a clinic in the UK, but her heart wasn’t in it.…

I smell bad, say my colleagues. This is very frustrating because I have no idea where the smell is localised. I’ve consulted a gynaecologist and a dermatologist, and was told to use wipes – I already apply deodorant multiple times a day, to no avail. I’m starting to lose hope. I am so sorry to hear that you have this problem. It must be very frustrating for you to feel that you can’t do anything about it. And so often, personal problems can leave us feeling isolated from those around us. I want to address another issue first: how constructive or supportive is your workplace environment? Telling a co-worker they smell bad sounds like bullying to me, and I would suggest that you ask the advice of friends to check how ‘bad’ is…

Add surprise elements like cropped cuts to your work suit…

Having problems with your moisture barrier? Dr Webster says it’s wise to consult an experienced skincare professional for advice on the correct treatments. He offers a variety of in-office treatments that can help your skin reach top form: • Very gentle chemical peels • Dermapen medical micro-needling using hyaluronic acid This treatment will produce more hydrated, plumper-looking skin due to the humectant effect of hyaluronic acid. • Dermapen medical micro-needling with platelet-rich plasma This regenerative treatment uses your body’s own natural growth factors (extracted from your blood), which will lessen the chance of a reaction. This is sometimes referred to as a ‘vampire facial’. • Clear + Brilliant fractional laser This is for those with more sensitive skins who would like a gentle anti-ageing treatment. This gentle laser produces micro-channels into the skin; by…

YOU NEED • 12 medium lemons (1,7kg) • 1½ cups (450g) rock salt • 5 fresh bay leaves • 1 teaspoon coriander seeds • 1 teaspoon cumin seeds • sterilised glass jars 1 Halve eight lemons lengthways, then cut each half in half again without cutting all the way through. Open the lemon halves out slightly. 2 Cut the remaining 4 lemons in half crossways. Squeeze the lemons over a large glass bowl to catch the juice; you will need 1 cup. If there’s extra you can use it. 3 Add the lemon halves to the bowl of lemon juice, gently squeezing some of them slightly as you add them to release some of the juice. 4 Pour the salt over the lemons; add the bay leaves, coriander and cumin seeds. Mix. With the back of…

• A vine should be more than 35 years old to be considered ‘old’. • Old vines are said to produce less – but more concentrated – fruit, so the taste of the wine is enhanced. • Their roots run deeper, so they get their nutrients from soil further below the surface. This means they’re less likely to be affected by drought or other conditions, so the wine is more consistent over time. The oldest vine in SA is thought to be the beautiful huge vine covering the courtyard of the Cape Heritage Hotel in Heritage Square, Cape Town – but, like which is the oldest pub in South Africa, it’s a hotly debated claim.…

We assessed the clarity and depth of sound, bass and audio enhancement, and noise isolation. Ease of use, fit and water-resistance were also assessed, as were connectivity, design and features. KNOW THE JARGON EQ: Some buds come with an app that have features like EQ (equaliser). This allows you to tailor the sound, boost the bass or cut the high frequencies. Noise isolation vs cancellation: Noise isolation refers to how well the unit seals off your ear canal from low-mid frequencies in particular. Noise cancellation cancels out the sound waves from outside. (None of the units on test had noise cancellation.) Tips/wings: Tips are the rubber pieces that fit over the buds’s speakers; they seal off the ear canal and ensure a snug fit. Wings, or fins, hook onto the…