(Setting: a sturdy pirate ship with a barrel on the deck. Enter PARROT.)
PARROT: Welcome, oh, welcome, ye landlubbers all, To our fabulous pirate ship, The Terrible! I’m Parrot, your tour guide and expert narrator—if you like the show, I’m accepting tips later.
(Enter the CREW, the COOK, and CAPTAIN BRASH. The COOK is stirring pancake batter in a bowl. The others go to work swabbing the deck, steering the ship, and other things.)
PARROT: Now, this crew, they seem surly and burly and rough. But they’re really nice too! I promise—no bluff. Yes, ol’ Captain Brash cares for each of his crew. And not long ago, he hired somebody new.
(Enter FERN, carrying a big book in one hand and a mop in the other.)
PARROT: Friends, meet Fern!…