1. List your motivations for publishing the piece. If it’s revenge, redemption, or making tons of money, rethink your decision.
2. Read over your work a day or two later. Ask yourself how you’d feel if this were published about you.
3. If you’re worried, before you submit your work to an editor, show it to the mate, parents, child, boss, or co-worker in the piece and ask, “Will you still speak to me if this sees print?” If they say no, ask, “What can I do to change it?” In some cases, it will only require taking out a few lines to preserve a lifelong relationship.
4. Read your favorite essayists and memoirists and underline diplomatic passages chronicling their complicated relationships with their mothers, fathers, spouses, or other relatives…