Fairlady Jan/Feb 2025

IT being the beginning of the year, my feeds are full of New Year’s resolutions, quite preachy life rules and life lessons. Which would be lovely if so many of them didn’t sound so exhausting. Why does everything have to be such hard work? I don’t want to alarm you, but these days it is even possible to fail at failing. Chances are you are not failing correctly: you now have to make sure to fail forward, on top of everything else. If you don’t, you’re not doing it right. What does that even mean? Failure is failure; sometimes you don’t learn anything from it, and sometimes you do. That’s how it goes. Probably the biggest lesson to learn is that both failure and success are most often not entirely…

Write to flmag@fairlady.com – and remember to put the word ‘Letters’ in the subject line. WINNING LETTER Freeloader on the run I refer to my letter, which you so kindly published in the Sep/Oct 2024 issue. [Vanessa was diagnosed with a stage III neuroendocrine tumour and two lesions, one on her brain and one on her chest.] Here’s an update: On 5 August, I underwent five-hour surgery to remove the #freeloader. I remember waking up in ICU and being told Dr M had removed the mass plus 1m of bowel, and that I needed to receive blood as I had lost a lot during surgery. Everything really made sense the next day: the drain (which I came home with), catheter, arterial line, etc. This was my first stint in ICU…

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Dear Diary I can’t wait for 2025 so I can start using my new journal, made by Lameez Patel. Each new month of My Balanced Life Diary starts with a theme: January’s is ‘Root to Rise’, June is ‘Nourish to Flourish’, October is ‘Create Joy’. And each day starts with ‘Today, I will…’, which is where she shares an anecdote or an observation, sets a task, or gives you a gratitude prompt, a mindfulness reminder or a health tip, depending on the theme of that month. Each day also has ‘Notes to self’, as well as space for you to complete prompts such as ‘I’m grateful for…’ At the end of every month, a budget-tracking page lets you log your income and expenses, so you can see where you need…

Take cover Avoid the worst of the sun’s rays (and look chic doing it) with a brimmed or bucket hat and an elegant cover-up. Costume parade Whether you’re poolside, headed to the beach or on a cold-plunge mission, you’ll need a cozzie this summer, so make it something flattering and functional. Change of a dress Printed, monochrome or just plain pretty, a dress is the ultimate no-styling-required summer outfit. Sandal season Chunky soles, metallics, buckled straps and woven details… These are the sandal trends we’re spotting this season. Beach-bound A book, a towel, snacks, water… Toss it all into a cool, casual tote for a well-spent day at the beach. Blinding lights I spy with my little eye, something in tortoise-shell, something tinted and something with a gilded set of…

Advice columns have been around for centuries, dating all the way back to the 1600s. But if you were hoping for a sympathetic ear and a few encouraging words way back then, you’d have been better off looking elsewhere. In the Victorian era, an agony aunt’s main job was not to smooth your ruffled feathers – it was to uphold the nation’s moral standards. You were much more likely to get a scolding than any kind of helpful advice. In 1859, a new bride who wrote to the Weekly Magazine about a row with her husband was told to forget about writing poetry and get his dinner on the table pronto, ‘Your first duty is now to your husband’ and ‘A man’s heart lives very near his stomach.’ When a…